The Holt's Nut Wizard: Much More than a Nut Picker Upper

The other day, I was having lunch with my friend Kerry and his wife, Laura. Kerry is the owner of Lawn Gardening Tools, a website specializing in - none other than lawn gardening tools (you guessed it). Anyway, we are sitting in this restaurant and Kerry was describing this amazing nut picker upper tool called the Nut Wizard. The odd thing was that the Nut Wizard picks up apples, golf balls, ammo shell casings, pine cones, and all kinds of nuts.

So anyway, as I am listening to Kerry enthusiastically talk about the Nut Wizard,

I could not help but think to myself: "Nut Wizard. The name is an oxymoron. I mean how can you be both a nut and a wizard?" So I ask Kerry why call the nut wizard a nut wizard, when it does so much more than being the ultimate nut picker upper? Heck, it picks up golf balls. It's an apple picker upper. The so called Nut Wizard picks up ammo shell casings for goodness sake! It simply does not make sense to call it a nut wizard or a nut picker upper when it picks up so many other things.

Kerry's response was "too bad the Nut Wizard cannot pick you up and take you outta here!" Kerry let me know that the Nut Wizard isn't just called the Nut Wizard - it, like me, is called all sorts of names. "It's known as a nut roller, a nut gathering tool, the nut gatherer, nut picker, nut roller, gum ball picker, nut picker-upper, basket nut tool, nut grabber, yard roller, walnut roller, walnut tool, nut tool, lawn sweeper, walnut rake, lawn whisk, nut collector, acorn rake ... you get the picture"" Kerry asked. And just when I was about to say never mind, Laura comes in to add more names to the list: "sweet gum ball rake, acorn gatherer, acorn picker upper, pecan picker upper, walnut picker upper, pecan retriever, and sticky ball collector."

"Enough," I exclaimed. "I get it. You all are saying the Nut Wizard can pick up anything smaller than me." Kerry, looking pleased that I conceded that the Nut Wizard is the best nut picker upper in the world, said "Exactly, my Nut Wizard is the world's best nut picker upper and it can pick up anything smaller than you."

You should have seen Kerry's face when, just at that moment the waitress came with the check and I told him, "Great, then you and your Nut Wizard can pick up the tab, Kerry!